this tragic display of my last laugh

Hello kids,

( The time has come, the Walrus said, To talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages--and kings-- )

I have never really been good at endings. So I guess I will just say thank you with all my heart, and I wish all of you the best. And seriously, if anyone's interested in food and/or the occasional random story about my cats (we are elderly and lame, and we just hang out with our cats all day now), come visit us over at foodhole.

I just totally walked in on one of my girl cats full-on giving my boy cat a rim job on the guest bed while her sister watched. My cats are PERVS, dudes.

(I am fairly certain they have been getting into my gay porn while I'm at work. I am a BAD MOTHER.)

I have tried not to be too political here on my random and infrequent drive-bys, but.

Oh my god.

You guys?

WE FUCKING DID IT.

QB posted the following video on his blog, and I feel compelled to share it with all you other damn liberal hippie-types (side note: my college boyfriend's pet name for me was "pink commie bastard" because I am so left-leaning).

I have actually now informed QB of my intention to throw him over and pursue Jack Cafferty for his hand in marriage. QB's reply? "You can't marry him. I want to marry him."

( Video Awesomeness Behind The Cut )

Y'all, Bitch magazine is in big trouble, and needs a serious influx of cash before October 15th to stay in business.

I know money is tight all around these days, and we're all holding on to our wallets - believe me, my poor debit card is about to fall apart with the frequency I need to gas up the car with an hour and a half daily commute. But if you have any extra pocket change, or if you have a budget for charitable contributions please consider supporting Bitch. It's a nonprofit magazine with a really great message.

It's sort of a scary time in this country to have lady parts - depending on how the upcoming election goes, politicians might start attempting to get a lot more regulatory on our reproductive organs. Bitch is a really great resource for how to be an activist to protect yourself.

So! If you can afford it, please consider making a donation. Save Bitch!

So, I just got off a 10-hour shift at work a few hours ago, and I got home, and I said to myself, "Self, you could go to bed, OR you could make QB stay up late with you and watch the goddamn VMAs." Obviously, masochism trumps a good night's sleep, so QB and I sat our asses down and watched the whole enchilada. On top of everything else? We were SOBER! It seems I might be allergic to alcohol. The things I do for art!

( Snarkage lies beneath the cut )

I know we say this every year, but seriously. Worst VMAs ever.

Helllooooooooooooo, livejournal!

A) I did many hours and amounts of hurricane prep at work and home, and we didn't get any rain.

b-) I have slept 4 hours in 2 days, and I am EXHAUSTED.

3) remember when I used to have time to hang out on the old el-jay all the time? I miss that.

d/4) I have had a lot of vodka

something) QB saw a music video recently witha guy with a Broadway tattoo on his back, and Ludacris was in the video, and now he wants to to know the song and/or artist. We are on a race to figure out what it is, but my google-fu is failing me. Anyone want to help so I look impressive?

(QB and I are having our 4-year anniversary on Friday. Is that shit bananas or what?)

P.S. Has anyone heard that song "The Story" by Brandi Carlile? Holy cow do I love that song.

In conclusion, ponies are still awesome.

Banderson Mooper. For serious.

So, I actually got a weekend off, and managed to catch up on a three-year backlog on my DVR, and QB and I were flipping through the channels, and we got sucked into this Nickelodeon show called iCarly? And it seems to be targeted towards preteens? But it is actually really entertaining? And even though I am pushing 30, it is my new favorite show until I fickle-ly move onto something else? And I just wanted to know if anyone else was watching. So that I would not have to be embarrassed alone.

I invented a new drink last night, and it is SO good, that immediately upon my return from work, QB pounced on me and said ZOMG CAN I HAS MORE OF THAT DRINK PLZTHX?! (I think he reads too many lolcats when he is alone on the weekends).

ANYWAY, this drink was invented because we stopped by the liquor store and found that a) Skyy Citrus was on sale for $8.99 (score!) and b) the liquor store had a weird and not very extensive selection of mixers (unscore!), so I just had to make do with what I could find. QB has requested that I post it here for posterity, because whenever I can't remember something, I just check the livejournal, because if it was important, I must have livejournalled it at some point. Oh, and the name of the drink is inspired by Odette Phillipe, who introduced the grapefruit to Florida, at least according to Wikipedia, that bastion of factual accuracy.

The Odette

- take a large glass and fill it all the way up with ice
- pour in 1.5 ounces of Skyy Citrus vodka
- pour in 2 ounces of Tropicana Twister Orange Strawberry Banana Burst
- fill the rest of the glass with grapefruit soda (we used Squirt, but Fresca would be good if you want to make it lower in calories, or Ting would be awesome if you have a West Indian market nearby)
- stick a straw in it, stir it on up, and rink it on down!

( Reactions For Tonight's Bones Under The Cut )

In other news, my DVR decided to record American Gladiators instead of How I Met Your Mother. Um, thanks DVR? It's okay, though. Luckily Jesus and Santa Claus had a drunken one-night stand resulting in the internets, and now I can watch shows later if I miss them the first time. That's the story of Easter, right? I stopped going to church when I was four, and I get all confused.

Are you bitches ready for some TOTALLY EFFING ADORABLE CAT FOOTAGE?

( Backstory and links under the cut )

OMG guys, Click here to see my totally adorable effing cats.

I have NOT already re-watched last night's How I Met Your Mother twice. That would just be sad.

Me: Where ya going?
QB: To wash my face. Oh, sweet Jesus!
Me: Babe?
QB: Oh dear Lord, that's the biggest cockroach I've ever seen.
Me: Okay.
QB: You don't understand. It's so big. It's going to destroy the house. I think it just destroyed Cleveland.
Me: It sounds big.
QB: Babe, it's sitting on the toilet, reading a magazine and smoking a cigar.
Me: ...
QB: A cigar, lady!
Me: Do you want me to man up and stomp on it for you?
QB: Yes!
Me: Okay. I'm going to need your shoes.
QB: Aieeeeeeeeeee! *splat*
Me: Did you step on it?
QB: I HAD to. It CHARGED me.
Me: Would you like a gin and tonic?
QB: yes, please.